Dating your best friend good or bad
In a way, it makes sense: he listens to your pointless rants and remembers your birthday, and you obviously enjoy hanging out with him. Sometimes, dating feels like a cruel game of “20 Questions.” When you date a guy who’s already your friend, you can skip the small talk.
But like any other type of relationship, this kind of romance has its drawbacks. “We already knew each other extremely well when we started dating, so we didn’t have that awkward ‘getting to know each other’ period,” says Julie*, a senior at Northeastern University who dated her male best friend.
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Aleeza is committed to creating marriages that endure the test of time, starting with her own: she is a dedicated wife and loving mother of five children.
But, as every collegiette knows, looks aren’t everything.
Since a set of killer abs will be replaced with a beer belly before you know it, it’s important to be in a relationship with a guy who you enjoy spending time with.
Many people think that dating a friend is a bad plan. You don’t have to put on any airs; you can just be who you are. Trust is the foundation of a relationship and it’s one of the hardest things to build. And since you’re friends, you’ve already built up a reserve of trust between yourselves. Coming into a new relationship with trust puts your relationship ahead of the game and sets you up for success. And if you’ve still chosen to be friends, then there’s a good chance you’ve accepted each other’s differences to some degree. It is likely you have developed the kernels of love already. Naturally, it took some time to get past the uncomfortable feelings but our friendship was strong enough to weather the storm.
“Aleeza, I can’t date my friend, I don’t want to mess up the friendship.” I think it can be a great idea. That spark, affinity and care that binds you two together exists between the two of you even before that first date. Your friend has likely seen the real you and you are likely used to being yourself around them. Acceptance of differences, like trust, is what builds the foundation for a solid and lasting relationship. We develop love by giving and friends are used to giving to each other. We usually choose to spend our time with people we do respect. Friends are great at caring about each other, as well as taking good care of one another. On the other hand, I have a client who successfully turned a friend into someone he is dating seriously.
When I set out to explore this question for this piece, one of my own stories kept coming back to me.
I had a friend whom I’d known for almost six years.
I knew his passions and fears and appreciated his support through good and bad times, and over time he had become one of my best guy friends.
Here are my 9 reasons why you should give it a shot: 1. How nice is it to come into a relationship where you already know each other! Also, if you’re close friends, you have probably seen and heard the good, bad and the ugly about this person..you still like them. It is through giving that we increase our love for one another. Without respect, we can’t look up to someone or build a deeper relationship. It takes time to get to know someone and to learn how to best care for them. You already know that you enjoy hanging out with this person. They have had to make some adjustments in their relationship (like actually dating instead of just “hanging out”).
By now you are probably well-versed in knowing your similarities and differences.She is the author of Get Real Get Married, your guide to getting over your hurdles and under the chuppah!